Your mental health - dealing with the lows
The elephant in the room - how to stay sane
This is not professional medical advice. Consult with your healthcare provider before anything even slightly risky, especially if you're recovering from surgery, to ensure they fit your specific needs and won’t interfere with your treatment.
If you’re active (which I was very), then all of sudden, you find yourself unable to do a lot of the things you love, not to mention practical day-to-day things like driving, shopping and housework, for MONTHS, it is very normal to feel down about things.
Some people will handle things OK. That’s great. Some people will have lots of support, some people not so much. That can be hard.
Most people will experience a range of emotions everything from low-level frustration all the way to depressive episodes.
I am not a mental health expert, below is just some things I would recommend based on my own experience. I’m not afraid to admit that I went to some dark places during a long, hard recovery. At the time of writing, I still have a long way to go and continue to experience hard times. So much time stuck at home and unable to do the things I love, and see the people I love.
All is not lost, but try to be proactive about your mental health if you can.
Online Support Groups
One of the best things I did was join an online support group on Facebook. I’m not crazy about social media but this is one reason to stay on. It was for people with my specific injury (Pilon ankle fracture).
Yes you might hear some scary stories, but I immediately found it helpful to be able to discuss what I’m going through, with people who have had the same injury at various stages of recovery. Your friends and family do their best but it’s hard for people to understand what you’re going through. For those with Pilon ankle fractures, I would highly recommend the ‘Pilon Fractures Suck!’ group.
Find a support group for people who’ve suffered your injury and join up. You can ask questions, post your news, or just vent. It’s great.
Reach Out
If you’re feeling down, or rough, or in pain, or hopeless - tell someone. Don’t bottle it up. It doesn’t help. We are not islands. It’s OK.
Just send someone a quick text, or if you live with people, tell them you’re not doing great and you could use some company or a change of scenery. Ask someone for a lift somewhere, for a ‘day-out’, maybe for some shopping, or a brunch or lunch.
The people who matter will get it, and you will find people will do amazing things to help you out. Sometimes people don’t realise what you’re going through. If you have had a serious injury, folks might not realise you are still cooped up the house and isolated. People will step up and the right people will be glad to help.
If you don’t feel like you can talk to anyone - talk to me - send me an email at garethebbs@gmail.com and I’ll give you a call.
Therapy / Counselling
Some of us will have had traumatic incidents when we got injured. On top of that, many of will be dealing with the lows of how life changes overnight, pain, frustration and sadness. It sucks but it’s all very normal. It’s very common to need a little assistance.
If you’re struggling badly, maybe you should consider talking to a professional. For those who have done this before, they will know the benefits. Some will be very reluctant to do it or be suspicious about it. But trust me, most people find that they will get something out of it, and it may be what you need.
It can be expensive of course. If you’re stuck for cash, depending on where you are, there are often low-cost options. I’m based in Ireland., and there are people Helplink, who are a social enterprise offering low cost counselling or places like here who do low cost services.
There is also the Employee Assistance Programme in Ireland, and you might be able to access free or low cost counselling with this through your employer, or other services through your health insurance if you have it.
Wherever you’re based, look around for low-cost options before you shell out the big books.
If you’re struggling, get the ball rolling. Send the email or make the call.
The Mornings (Ugh)
I’m gonna talk about this because I’ve never been a morning person and during my recovery I have found mornings really tough. As one of my friends said (who also had a serious leg injury), why would you bother getting out of bed, to go to the couch, then back to bed? :) She had a point. But you have to get moving.
I had the luxury of getting out of bed at my leisure (or when I got hungry!). It was two months before I went back remote working. I could work from my bed. You might not have those luxuries. You might have commitments or kids you need to get out of bed for. Maybe that’s a good thing. But it’s tough.
Get your beauty sleep
One obvious solution is to get tonnes of sleep. You can’t put a price on sleep. Try to go bed very early. I know most of us fail at that for one reason or another but sleep is vital. The more the better. I found even with going to bed early I still couldn’t get enough to feel refreshed but that’s the nature of this thing.
Depending on what stage you’re recovery is at, you might be just out of hospital and in pain, on meds, and a little dopey etc. Or maybe further along, but still struggling with pain, immobility, and a low mood.
Whatever you’re situation, facing the day can be difficult when it’s another bloody ‘Groundhog Day’ of not doing a lot, and possibly pain etc.
Between pain, tiredness and low moods, when I needed to get up, it was taking me a LONG time to get it together to get out of bed. My meds included a suppository which was always fun. When I was fresh out of hospital I was living at my folks place and they helped a lot. I would always bring something with me at night that I could eat in the morning, take meds…and usually go back asleep.
Before I dragged myself out of bed, I often needed to do something to raise my mood and get the energy to face the day to be honest. I did this by switching on a favourite podcast and letting that ease my into the day. I’ve leaned on a lot of comedy podcasts during this time. Are podcasts your thing? Which ones would work for you? There’s tonnes out there and there’s something very uplifting about funny people being funny together. I love music too but I found podcasts were more immersive for me.
Maybe music or Netflix is more your thing? If so make sure it’s something uplifting and distracting. Preferably not social media because most social media will make you fill a bit shitty eventually.
Do whatever it takes to lift your mood in the morning if you need to. And if you can, take your time.
Pain Distractions
Depending on your injury and what stage of recovery you’re at, chances are at this point of the recovery, you are experiencing some level of pain. In my case it was severe and until I got my GP on the case and got it under control, I had many sleepless nights with pain.
There will be many other points of recovery and beyond where the pain is extreme. There are only so many meds you can munch on.
So if you’ve taken your meds and you’re still in pain, what the hell do you do? It sucks. It can be hard to feel social. during those times. And if it’s at night it’s a tough time.
I found the only thing that gave me any distraction at this time was an immersive TV show on the laptop. At the time I was watching the Beatles ‘Get Back’ documentary and reruns of Schitts Creek. I would be awake with pain and I would just turn the laptop straight on, take a strong painkiller and wait. Not fun times but you get through it.
What will work for you? TV shows? Music? Youtube? Video games? Hanging with family or friends? Ask your friends and family (nicely!) to share passwords for streaming services. They’ll be happy to. They better be!
Find a distraction, do whatever it takes.
What else to put some joy in your life?
Here are some other simple ideas (tell me some more):
Get a massage - they can work around your injury - relaxing!
Get a cheap break somewhere sunny and just sit by the pool and swim (I couldn’t do this until 5 months after my accident due to wounds)
Get outdoors and do something social. Get a knee crutch (see the iWalk on this page) and you can do this even if not weight bearing. Get a friend to bring you to the beach or mountains. Take in the air.
Take a bath if you have one. It’s a lovely escape. You might need something like the foot cover on the ‘Aids & Toys’ page if you need to keep wounds or a cast dry, but it’s doable. Play some music or a podcast, have a glass of wine if that’s your thing. Just take an hour for yourself.
As mentioned above, watch your favourite shows - especially comedy. There are so many good shows out there. Ask your friends and family (nicely!) to share passwords for streaming services.
Arrange a brunch or lunch with friends. It will lift your mood. Tell them about your struggles. That’s what friends are for.
Go for a swim. Do it safely. A lot of people swear by hydrotherapy.
Take a break from cooking and get some take-away food. EVERYBODY loves a good take-away. You deserve it. You can order some meal kits to safe hassle cooking. Stuff like Hello Fresh etc. Might be a little more expensive but it’s only temporary.
Accept help. I know this might seem obvious but it’s hard accepting help when you’re used to being independent. We all struggle with that. Accept it when you need it.
Eat some chocolate. Well - obviously!
Take a break - don’t heap stuff on yourself. Let your significant others, children, friends and relatives help out. You have plenty of time to repay them and they will be glad to help in your time of need.
